Boyhood

Occasionally, during a rare moment of stillness and absent of goofy faces, my son will let me take his portrait. Since boyhood is so fleeting, I try and do a window lit session from time to time, primarily for his yearly print album. Seeing how his features change over time and how his personality comes through in each image is such a joy - and hopefully will be his too one day as he looks back on these years. Of course, I also send copies to send to his grandmas, who are always happy to receive a recent photo of their grandson.

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Letters To My Sons | February

Darling Cash,

This past Saturday we went on another one of our dates. Over the past couple of years these dates have been made special in that it's just the two of us trekking around New York City with abandon, and this time was no different. We went to Times Square, stopping first by the flagship Toys-R-Us on 44th Street before going to see a Barcelonian dance show at the New Victory Theatre. Since we ride the local "C" train to school every day, whenever we go to Times Square you love the thrill of taking the express "A" train just for the chance to go faster than the "C".  

It was snowing on this day, which is not all that surprising given the weather we've had this month. But it was a very light snow, just enough for it to be magical. We walked along 42nd street, squinting snowflakes from our eyes as we looked up at the neon lights all around. "New Yorkers as tourists" we like to say.    

Before going to the theatre, we took a few photos in the middle of Broadway. I think it was Minnie and Mickey Mouse who tried to bumrush our photo until we shooed them away. "Why, no photo?"  "Um..., 'cause we live here!," we said, before running off into the Toys-R-Us store. You've never been impressed by the cartoon characters of Times Square who pose with tourists and then hustle tips from them afterwards. Not even during your Elmo phase. A true New Yorker.   

Cash, I cherish these "dates" with you because I know that one day soon you'll be a teenager and spending a Saturday afternoon with your mother won't be so exciting.  For now though, I can't get enough of your sweet affections.  Many mornings you crawl in next to me in bed, before your little brother wakes up, for some "cozy marozy" (our special name for cuddles) and say, "Mommy, can we snuggle for a little bit before you make me breakfast?"  Of course I oblige. I mean, how could I not?  You're such a loving little boy, that every day I feel as if I'm storing inside my soul all the kind things you say, just in case -- well, just in case there comes a time you don't say them anymore. Like when you tell me, "Mommy I missed you while I was in school," or, "You're the best, prettiest mommy in the world."  And when I make a mistake how you say, "Don't worry Mommy, it's okay, it was just an accident."  But the most recent example of that love was the cookie you had saved for me from your lunch bag of mini Oreos. You love cookies - and I mean LOVE cookies!! So for you to put one aside, fighting the urge to eat it...and then, be so excited to give it to me, was unbelievably touching. Your "I love you's", hugs and kisses are the brightest part of my days, and often times I'll drop whatever I'm doing to hold your face in my hands 'cause I know this time is fleeting. But I have it now. And I want to hold onto it.

Heading home from Times Square we made one last stop at our favorite pizza place to get a "bomb pizza" (your word for really really good pizza) to share with Daddy and Grey. A perfect finish to another fabulous date.

My son, I love you so very much. I pray you never stop showing your kindness to others. And most of all, that you never ever stop loving as sweetly as you do now.   

Always & Forever,

Mom

Denim & Gold

This week I just wanted to take a photo of the boys, in their matching denim and gold sneakers, from what I consider to be an interesting perspective. Perhaps one day the boys will smile as they look back at this snapshot from their childhood.  

Denim & Gold

Letters To My Sons | January

First and foremost, Happy New Year boys! So far this year we've had some pretty cold days here in the Northeast. On one of those chilly Saturday mornings, we bundled up in our warm gear and headed out for some doughnuts, opting to go without the stroller so Grey could experience (and practice!) life as a pedestrian and, in all honesty, give me a sense of the near future without one. Our "practice" walk involved part of Convent Avenue with a brief pit stop on one of our favorite Harlem stoops.       

Along our journey Grey, it was obvious you want to be just like your big brother. When we sat on the stoop you made the same faces as Cash, copying him when he threw his arms up in the air, and though you have very few words yet, you did your best to mimic his many sound effects. You wanted to walk for the first few blocks without any hand holding. That is, until you saw Cash reaching for my hand and then you begged for my other one. You tried to skip and jump and run like him, however you must have fallen at least a dozen times in your efforts. Sometimes you'd throw one of your overly dramatic meltdowns, but Cash, we weren't phased by it, right?  We'd just pull Grey up to standing, brush him off and keep it moving, laughing to ourselves, Oh Grey, we're not buying it. 

It is just the beginning of 2015, and I cannot imagine nor wait to discover what the rest of our journey this year will include. I wonder what you guys will like as the months go by. Will you still be obsessed with everything Transformers, Cash? Who will be your new best friend? Will you still have a crush on Phoebe and talk to me at night about how you love everything about her? Will you like the Harlem Little League this spring? The Harlem School for the Arts camp this summer? And Grey, will you find a way to break a world record by surpassing your brother in weight? As of today you weigh just three pounds less than him and you are nearly three years younger! Will you like going to preschool this fall? Who'll be your first friend? 

My sweet boys, the road that lies ahead of you is long and full of promise. I hope you dance, smile, trust, love and dream. I pray you enjoy every moment - even the unpleasant ones that break your heart, but force you to reach and grow as a person. You will learn as you get older that rules are made to be broken so be bold enough to live life of your own terms, and never ever apologize for it. And most of all, trust that when one of you falls, the other one will pick you up, dust you off and tell you to keep it moving just the way a brother should.   

Happy New Year sons.  I love you both dearly.

Always & forever,

Mom 

A Christmas Tradition

Every year around Christmas time my oldest son and I go to Grand Central to see the Lionel holiday train show, riding as many different subway trains as possible to get there. We arrived just as they opened this year and practically had the whole exhibit to ourselves. He ran in circles watching the trains go in and out of tunnels, over bridges and along the elevated tracks.

"There's the MetroNorth train! ... The 1 train! ... Look Mom! There's the Polar Express!"  

Right across from the train show is Zaro's bakery where we get our favorite New York classic - the black and white cookie. We always get the mini 2-pack to share before heading to our next destination, the real tracks of Grand Central.  

A very favorite things to do is go from track to track, finding out where the next train is going and when it is leaving. Will it take people to New Haven, Connecticut?  Upstate New York?

We hang around as a couple of trains pull into Grand Central, opening its doors and delivering its cheery passengers into the heart of the city. 

After watching the trains and strolling through the holiday market in the terminal, we head out onto 42nd street to begin making our way over to Rockefeller Center.  

Once there we brave the mighty crowds, but still manage to snag a prime view of the big tree and the skaters below. Even Santa was doing a few laps on the ice. 

Our last stop is Magnolia Bakery for some of their amazing hot chocolate topped with big homemade marshmallow squares. There's no better way to cap off our day. With tired feet and happy hearts, we wait for the D train to take us back up to Harlem.  

It's no secret that New York City does Christmas better than anywhere else.  And lucky for us, it happens to be the place we call home.    

  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!  Wherever you are, may your season be merry and bright.

Letters To My Sons | December

 "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things you can't see."  

~The conductor, The Polar Express

Cash,

This Christmas season has been especially magical because...well, because you saw him with your own eyes. Opting to wait until you were in the throws of magical, Saint Nicholas belief, at the age of 4, we knew this was the year for us to go.  Every morning for the past couple of weeks you would run to the hallway calendar and ask, "Mommy, how many more days 'til we see Santa?"  When I told you that you would be sitting on his lap by yourself, you were okay with this, so long as you got to whisper in Santa's ear the one thing you hoped to find under the tree on Christmas morning.  

This particular transformer - the Stomp and Chomp Grimlock - is all you have been talking about for months.  It's a bit on the expensive side as far as transformers go and we let you know this.  So during bedtime one night you said, "Daddy, it's okay if you and Mommy don't have enough money to get me Grimlock.  It could be for my birthday instead.  Or do you think maybe Santa has enough time to save up for it?" 

You've also been praying to God for this toy ever since Daddy told you that Santa and God are close friends. Once when I uttered aloud that I wish I had a pair of gold sneakers, you folded your hands together and said, "God can you please let Santa know to get my Mommy some gold sneakers for Christmas like Usher's."

 

On the morning of the last day in November, we got an early "Davis-style" start.  ABC Carpet and Home has always been very popular among New Yorkers because of its beautiful setting and the realness of Santa (no fake beards here!) so the line quickly snakes around the block.  Arriving an hour and a half before Santa, there were four families ahead of us - but at least it wasn't cold outside. We passed the time with games, runs for coffee and lots of music, and before long the line started moving.

"Santa will be here any minute folks! Please have your children ready and your strollers to the side." 

Daddy and I couldn't help but smile as your eyes widened and your legs started bobbing up and down.  

"Its almost Santa time!!"

 

 

Once inside, after catching that first glimpse of Santa, you became your shy self with pursed lips and hands held timidly. Daddy lifted you up so you could see better as you waited your turn. And then! There you were, seated on Santa's left leg, sweetly and nervously whispering to him your heart's desire. You looked so happy as he handed you a tiny reindeer to take with you; like the sleigh bell in the Polar Express story (one of your all time favorites), it was a little reminder that Santa is real, that seeing is believing -  and it's been at the base of our little Christmas tree ever since. 

My darling Cash, as you grow older, you will learn with great certainty that yes, sometimes the most real things in the world are those you can't see. But my hope is that you will always look back fondly on these magical, believing years. And maybe this letter and these photos will help remind you of how you felt when you first saw Santa, and the wonder of that Christmas morning when you tore through the wrapping paper to find inside the one thing you had quietly whispered in his ear.

Merry Christmas my love!

Always & forever,

Mom

Photo 52: Hiatus 2

Though we always go out of town for the holiday, we still like to decorate this little Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving.  This past Saturday, just before going to bed, my son was tinkering with the ornaments and gazing at its pretty lights.

Let the holiday season begin!

Click HERE to visit our collective blog, Who We Become, to see more photos during our brief hiatus.    

Photo 52: Hiatus Post I

Who We Become may be on hiatus until January, but our cameras are not. We are in the process of putting together our syllabus for our next P52 and will be launching in January. We hope to make our new project as interesting and challenging to our group members as possible and we hope you will join us for the ride. In the interim, we have decided to make good use of our lonely blog and celebrate the holiday season by posting images that speak to our hearts. While these posts will lack the structure of our usual P52 projects, we hope you enjoy our work during this interlude. 

Below is a recent photo of my friend's sweet little girl reading one of her favorite books in one of her favorite places in Prospect Park.  I think she looks like a magical tree fairy.

Please click HERE to visit our collective blog, Who We Become, and see all of our images in one place.   

Letters To My Sons | November

Dear Grey Grey,

It's been one of those months around here.  Lots of tears, meltdowns and overall just not feeling so hot.  Some of these days I even felt like crying.  First your brother caught pink eye. That Monday morning he woke up I knew all too well what it was, and that school that day (and the rest of the week for that matter) was out of the question. You however, didn't catch it --- or so I thought.  But a week later you did.  And then a week after that you gave it back to Cash. And then there was even a time when both of you had it.  After multiple doctor visits, eye drop refills and used up bottles of hand soap and sanitizer, I wasn't sure if we would ever be free of the "punk eye".        

Even without "punk eye", you had a particularly fussy month, melting down over what seemed like nothing at all. We'd try to console you with Bear Bear, your bottle, a favorite food, a restful quiet space, even giving in to your supposed wish to be picked up -- but nothing worked. You were bereft, collapsing into child's pose and often times bumping your head on the floor in the process. More tears. And then you'd throw up.  I can't tell you how many times this happened.  Fits of coughing, fits of crying, even your dramatic attempts at attention all led to one thing: throw up.  You'd even hoard little bits of food in the corners of your mouth, then gag and throw up. Sometimes 2-3 times in one night I would have to change your bedding and pajamas - trying not to gag myself - because you barfed all over them. Peeeee-uuuuuu! 

I finally checked in with the doctor to find out exactly how much yorking one baby can do in one month and still qualify as healthy.  She informed me that you had four eye teeth coming in  -- long canines on the upper jaw also known as "fang teeth" -- that were most likely causing you such hell. Regular doses of infant ibuprofen made life a little better, but still you had your moments.  Not all of the behavior is related to teething and some of it is just good 'ole manipulation.  Yes, doc, I figured as much. 

Despite your agonizing teething and a ping pong case of pink eye, you found great joy in one major accomplishment this month --- walking!  Yep, this month you started walking for real, for real.  At first you would just teeter totter from the rocking chair to the safety of the sofa four feet away.  Then you progressed to waddling in a drunken stupor the length of the room, joining your brother Cash in an endless back and forth journey.  The funniest part to us was how you'd stick your arm out in front of you like a rudder for balance, trying your best to keep up with your brother's pace.         

Then there are the times you and Cash play in the portable crib. Whenever you wake up from your nap and start babbling, Cash asks if he can go in your room.  You throw blankets on each other, roll around laughing, play peek-a-boo and pretend picnic, or sometimes just stand and drop to the ground over and over and over.  I don't know what it is; it's so simple, and yet it brings about such laughter, which this past month was greatly needed in between moments of great frustration and general "un-wellness".

Sweet Grey Grey, may you continue to seek those pockets of joy even of those days when all you want to do is cry and throw up.  May you have a grateful heart and a tenacious spirit, somehow finding a way to smile through the hardest of times.  And not least of all, your big brother by your side.

I love you, always & forever.

Mom        

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Happy Halloween

"KNOW YOURSELF.  ONLY THEN CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER YOU HAVE TO BRING CHANGE, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU."  -  OPTIMUS PRIME, LEADER OF THE AUTOBOTS

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL YOU SENTIENTS!

Letters To My Sons | October

Dear Sons,

Well it's that time of year again.  This past Sunday we made our second annual trip to White Post Farm in Melville, Long Island for the Fall Festival which includes hayrides, feeding the animals, children shows, games, pony rides, food and of course, some of the best pumpkin picking.  Your Dad and I only found out about the farm last year after talking with some other parents. I suppose it's one of those places you only hear about once you have kids. Then you discover that everybody knows about it - or at least it seems that way - and has been going with their family for years. Well, Davis boys, we are now one of those families making a visit to the farm an annual October tradition. 

After running around the pumpkin patch, trying to lift the biggest and heaviest pumpkins you could find Cash, you found yourself a sensible seat.  This was probably one of my favorite photos from the whole afternoon.  The brightest highlight for you however, was feeding the animals from the bucket of ice-cream cones filled with feed pellets that we bought.  You spent most of your time with the goats and the sheep (from a slight distance!), sprinkling the pellets all over the ground rather than feeding them from the ice-cream cone in your hand.  I think that was just a little too risky for you, my ever-skeptical city boy.  

 

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Grey, you on the other hand, wanted to get up close and personal with the animals, particularly the dromedaries and the Nilgai antelope - whining for Daddy to bring you near enough to pet them. You'd touch their furry, wet noses and then immediately pull back your hand in a fit of laughter. This went on and on and on. But at least you weren't fussing Mr. Cranky Pants, which these days, is always a relief to us.

Cash, last year at the farm you were three years old and went on your first pony ride. As soon as you realized you would be going around the path without Mommy or Daddy and just the horse's caretaker instead -- you looked scared out of your mind.  Because of this, I wasn't sure if you would get on the pony again this year.  But as always, you surprised us with your determinism.  Although I will say that the entire time you rode around the circle, you had a slightly frozen stare as if you were second guessing your decision.

 

Daddy claims that the farm has one of the best Philly cheesesteaks.  This may very well be true.  I happen to love the grilled husked corn with butter and salt. But we all agree that they have the best french fries - those kind that are double fried, double crispy and doubly fantastic.  Grey, being that this was the first time you tasted them, you kept saying, "Mmmm..." as you licked off the ketchup, sweetly sharing with me and Daddy.  One for you, one for us.    

At one point you turned toward me and I took this photo.  What often strikes me when I look at you Grey Grey, and so many other people for that matter, is your eyes.  I love that here you can see the flecks of hazel and blue, and that inner circle of burnt yellow that makes them so dazzling.  You've got 'em boy.  You've got eyes to make the whole world swoon.     

 

Before we left we had to pick the perfect pumpkin. Cash, that was your job.  After goofing off for some time, being scolded for throwing one too many a pumpkin, you settled down and found the perfect one. Not too big and not too small. 

"Look Mom!  Let's get this one!"

It was just right.  So with our pumpkin, a couple of halloween cupcakes and Grey fast asleep in the stroller, we headed home, leaving just as the large crowds were arriving in typical Davis fashion.  

Thanks boys for making this such a fun family outing. If it weren't for you guys, Daddy and I probably would have never learned about this magical place out on Long Island.  It's just one of the many ways in which you have made our world bigger.

Always & forever,

Mom 

Gone Daddy

It was 5 o'clock and Daddy had just left for work.  This little one went crying throughout the apartment, looking for him in every room. 

Black and White: Five Day Photo Challenge

I was recently challenged by two supremely talented photographers, Jesse Riesmeyer and Stacey Vukelj, to post a black and white photo a day for five days.  I took this photo, the final one for this b/w photo challenge, during our recent trip to the farm last weekend.  Again, lines and patterns are what grabs me.  This is Day Five.  

Black and White: Five Day Photo Challenge

I was recently challenged by two supremely talented photographers, Jesse Riesmeyer and Stacey Vukelj, to post a black and white photo a day for five days.  I took today's photo as I was walking past this little cafe, Sweet Revenge, on Carmine Street in the West Village.  I pass this place all the time and it never fails to draw my attention.  There is something about the fact that its doors are always open, the globe light fixtures give off this buttery glow and the same bicycle is always locked up out front to the parking sign.  And the fact that it's called Sweet Revenge.  All of this makes it such a New York picture to me.  This is Day Four. 

sweet revenge | nyc