Letters To My Sons | December

 "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things you can't see."  

~The conductor, The Polar Express


This Christmas season has been especially magical because...well, because you saw him with your own eyes. Opting to wait until you were in the throws of magical, Saint Nicholas belief, at the age of 4, we knew this was the year for us to go.  Every morning for the past couple of weeks you would run to the hallway calendar and ask, "Mommy, how many more days 'til we see Santa?"  When I told you that you would be sitting on his lap by yourself, you were okay with this, so long as you got to whisper in Santa's ear the one thing you hoped to find under the tree on Christmas morning.  

This particular transformer - the Stomp and Chomp Grimlock - is all you have been talking about for months.  It's a bit on the expensive side as far as transformers go and we let you know this.  So during bedtime one night you said, "Daddy, it's okay if you and Mommy don't have enough money to get me Grimlock.  It could be for my birthday instead.  Or do you think maybe Santa has enough time to save up for it?" 

You've also been praying to God for this toy ever since Daddy told you that Santa and God are close friends. Once when I uttered aloud that I wish I had a pair of gold sneakers, you folded your hands together and said, "God can you please let Santa know to get my Mommy some gold sneakers for Christmas like Usher's."


On the morning of the last day in November, we got an early "Davis-style" start.  ABC Carpet and Home has always been very popular among New Yorkers because of its beautiful setting and the realness of Santa (no fake beards here!) so the line quickly snakes around the block.  Arriving an hour and a half before Santa, there were four families ahead of us - but at least it wasn't cold outside. We passed the time with games, runs for coffee and lots of music, and before long the line started moving.

"Santa will be here any minute folks! Please have your children ready and your strollers to the side." 

Daddy and I couldn't help but smile as your eyes widened and your legs started bobbing up and down.  

"Its almost Santa time!!"



Once inside, after catching that first glimpse of Santa, you became your shy self with pursed lips and hands held timidly. Daddy lifted you up so you could see better as you waited your turn. And then! There you were, seated on Santa's left leg, sweetly and nervously whispering to him your heart's desire. You looked so happy as he handed you a tiny reindeer to take with you; like the sleigh bell in the Polar Express story (one of your all time favorites), it was a little reminder that Santa is real, that seeing is believing -  and it's been at the base of our little Christmas tree ever since. 

My darling Cash, as you grow older, you will learn with great certainty that yes, sometimes the most real things in the world are those you can't see. But my hope is that you will always look back fondly on these magical, believing years. And maybe this letter and these photos will help remind you of how you felt when you first saw Santa, and the wonder of that Christmas morning when you tore through the wrapping paper to find inside the one thing you had quietly whispered in his ear.

Merry Christmas my love!

Always & forever,