Letters To My Sons | May

Happy birthday to you Grey Grey! You made it to FIVE -- the age you promised to eat all your food at dinner and sleep through the night without waking one of us up to come lie down with you; the age you said you'd stop being "cute" but would continue being a good brother who shares his toys. Some of those things I don't mind coming true, but definitely not the part where you stop being cute. Even now when I look at you I want to devour that adorable face!

"It hurts my heart," I'll say.

"Why Mommy? 'Cause you love me so much?"

"Yes! That's exactly why."  

I can't believe how much swagger resides in that little body of yours, going back to when you were just three years old when Cash was upset with me for some reason and made a mean face. "Cash! Don't hurt my friend Mommy!", you said as you put your arms around me, "Don't worry Mommy! I'm tecting (protecting) you!"  This confidence surfaced again during a recent argument between Daddy and me, or little "spit spat" as we like to call it. In one fail swoop you stepped in front of Daddy like David against Goliath: "Hey Daddy! Don't you talk to Mommy like that! You're not my friend! When I'm a grownup I'm going to punch you with my boxing glove!"  You held such a stern face that Daddy and I couldn't help but laugh, and yet down deep it warmed my heart to see you stepping up to defend your momma! My littlest has turned into quite the momma's boy and honestly, I didn't think there'd be any chance you'd be that way too, but you have proven me wrong. This past Mother's Day when I went on my annual overnight with Ahna you apparently cried out desperately into the wee hours, asking Daddy, "How much longer until Mommy comes back?" 

When we walk together holding hands we always squeeze three times to say "I love you". Then you like to squeeze five times to say "I love you eighty degrees" to which I'll always squeeze back the number for "I love you 10,000 miles". This has long been our silly sentiment and we just look at each other and laugh; by far it's one of my favorite things you and I have that's our own.  


This year you asked to see Blue Man Group again for your birthday. I guess you liked it so much last year, you wanted to go for round two and the show did not disappoint.

Neither did the Brooklyn Blackout cake topped with your favorite Mario Bros characters, or the birthday cake milkshake from Big Daddy's with vanilla frosting and sprinkles coating the outside of the glass, or the cookies I made for your school party with #5 written on them in your favorite buttercream. 

"Mommy! You know why I wanted to cry just now?...

...'cause that cookie was SO good!!"

When teacher Mia asked if you wanted some water after you finished your cookie you said, "No thank you Mia, I want to savor the flavor!"

Then we all fell out laughing. 

Cash gave you a new Mario Bros game for your birthday and the two of you played incessantly over the weekend. At one point you made a big action move against his guy because Cash shouted, "Hey Grey! How'd you do that?

"Heh, heh," you said coolly, "when you're a FIRE GUY you can do that."

This was a brand new game and you'd already done an advance move against your older brother. Now that's what I'm talking about! I absolutely can't wait to see what else you can do this year now that you're a FIVE GUY. Yeah, birthday boy, let's see what a FIVE GUY can do!

Grey Bear, before signing off, I just want to thank you for each and every snuggle requested this year. You are the definition of lovable. From 80 degree to 10,000 miles and from here to eternity, I LOVE YOU baby boy!

Always & forever, Mom