Letters To My Sons | April

The Littles

“Wait, so you mean Victor and Cash won’t be going — it’s just gonna be me and Grey?!

Elijah was overcome by this realization when we invited him to go see the new Sonic movie. Turns out he’d been nagging his mom to take him to the movies, a place he hadn’t been since the start of the pandemic over two years ago, so he was beside himself. Plus that meant he didn’t have to tag along to his older brother’s sports practice like he usually does on Saturday. Our plan was to scoop Elijah up in East Harlem and head straight to the movie theatre, backpacks stuffed with candy and Gatorade. But it was the anticipation leading up to Saturday that was most enjoyable, evidenced by the countdown texts (via Moms) sent to one another. You were doing something that felt very exclusive, a VIP entrance to the hottest ticket in town that was just for you. Little brothers only.

The Obasi/Davis friendship goes back to the beginning when Victor and Cash were incoming students. Our connection with Jenny and Chuk at MCS’s “new families” mixer was immediate and easy; we spent most of the party drinking, laughing, and talking about our boys who were the same ages. It turns out we also had some surprising mutual friends. “They are so cool and down to earth!” Dad and I would say to each other as we left the party, and it wasn’t long before Jenny and I were making plans to meet up in the park and at Farm Outing Day before school even started. First friends for the entire family, or as I like to call them, “Day Ones”, we’ve made lots of memories over the years; and all the while, Jenny and I remained hopeful our boys would develop meaningful friendships without our persuasion. Cash and Victor have done just that, growing even closer through their love of sports, while you and Elijah have truly lit your spark this year. It may be fueled by the fact that you are finally in the same classroom (in real life, not Zoom), but I think it’s mostly your combustible spirits. Little brothers with similar inhibition, jollies and whimsy, who have created a friendship that’s on fire.

Dr. Frank Sulloway, one of the world's foremost authorities on birth order, describes the younger sibling personality as “adventurous, risk-taking, and full of exploratory zeal.” Watching you and Elijah together couldn’t put this representation more on display. The Über ride to the movies involved listening to you jump from topic to topic. First, comparing whose brother was meaner (apparently Cash and Victor have similarly cruel tendencies), agreeing that you both would rather have a little sister, to naming, in order, which dogs you think are the cutest. Next it was a game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors”, instead using “Head, Neck and Feet”. Was this your own made up version of the game — who knows — all I know is I had to text Jenny live updates, cry-laughing emojis en masse.

You happily agreed to a photo shoot after the movie (Elijah made sure his hair was done extra special that day!) and literally COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BETTER MODELS! Elijah suggested many of the poses and backdrops which, I have to admit, were quite remarkable. “Elijah!” I said, “I’m hiring you as my creative director!” Every staircase, stoop and railing was a potential shot. You guys climbed fences and scaled the sides of buildings, laughing as you struck silly and serious poses. We took so many photos that we actually lost track of time, leaving the older brothers waiting at our designated pick up spot to wonder what the heck was taking us so long.

Younger siblings are known to have the creative edge, and being a younger sibling myself, I felt very in sync with you two. I do believe we could have carried on for hours if we’d only had the time.

A few days after this outing, Grey unfortunately came down with Covid and missed a full week of school. Jenny would tell me that every morning Elijah would ask, “Do you think Grey will be back in school today Mommy?” The morning Grey did finally return to school, Elijah saw him from all the way down the block and sprinted to welcome his buddy back to school.

Jenny and I can’t help but smile when we see how close you two have become this year without any encouragement from us. It’s the manifestation of what we had always hoped for. And so, my everlasting hope, is that you keep this creative spirit lit, never dimming its brightness no matter how many times your older brother tries to snuff it — standing proud in the uniqueness of being the youngest.

I love you Grey (and Elijah!)

Always and forever